we're blogging at a bar
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
