No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
