I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
