did you get engaged???
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
