I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
