i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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