dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
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