I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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