I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
