dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
