Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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