dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
