Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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