walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
