youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
