Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
