Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
