The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
