i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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