Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
