You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I love you. Go after that dick
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
