This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
