Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize