I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
