woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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