I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize