Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
