Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
