there was a trapeze. enough said
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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