Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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