Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
