yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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