I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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