i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize