Do you still have your period?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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