did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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