she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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