don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
