this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
