i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
