eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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