Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
