she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
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How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Still dying that you shit outside
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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