At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
