drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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