The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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