Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
