idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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