Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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