In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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