my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
