I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
