Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think my vagina is haunted
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
