I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
