did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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