you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
