Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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