You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
