im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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