She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
