She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
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I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
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she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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