My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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